


Feeding a Crowd for Dummies

by Haldane



Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-14
Updated: 2012-07-14
Packaged: 2017-11-09 22:47:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/459351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haldane/pseuds/Haldane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers win the fight, but what of the civilians caught in the crossfire?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feeding a Crowd for Dummies

**Author's Note:**

> There was a prompt on the Avengers Kinkmeme about Clint being "in the army", and everybody just assuming he was a sniper then, too. So somebody wrote a fill where he was a bomb disposal expert, but I thought: that's still a kick-ass specialty. What if he was a plain grunt, but happened to learn something unique along the way that 'saves the day' on a mission?

There were fewer and fewer uninhabited islands these days, so when the Avengers blew up the base of the latest wannabe supervillian, they took out half a Cambodian hillside in the process. 

And since little useable land was left empty in that part of the world, a small village went with it.

The fight had been dramatic enough to warn the villagers away, but the spillover had taken out all of the houses. They were left facing about 300 people standing homeless on a small ridge of land. As the sun was setting. In the middle of the monsoon season.

"Okay, I've been on the phone to Fury," Tony announced, having used the inbuilt comms in his suit to chat with the Director, aboard the Helicarrier a few miles offshore. "There's enough money in the bad guy's bank accounts to rebuild the village, but they can't get any emergency personnel in or evac anyone out until tomorrow."

The others looked around at the huddles of people standing in the rain, some holding bits of bamboo matting over their heads, more clutching small children. "What can we do?" Steve asked softly.

"Gimme that phone."

Unexpectedly, it was Clint. Tony passed him a small microphone on a lead. "Put me onto anybody in the kitchen," Clint snapped into it without hesitation. 

After a short delay, Clint began speaking again, his words crisp and clear. "Got a pen and paper? Good. In a minute you're going to get a clearance code for a pallet to be airlifted, and this is what I want on it. Six of those 50-pound bags of flour, no, make it seven, one always bursts on landing. Ten two-pound boxes of dried eggs, and the same of powdered milk. Six pounds of salt, two of baking powder." He went on with the list for another half-dozen items, and then gave the mic back.

"Okay. Steve, Thor, find any flat bits of metal you can. Tony, you're going to give each of them a tickle from your repulsers, enough to heat them but not blow them away. Bruce, find me a clean water source. Nat, get those people lining up with any sort of bowls or containers they have." He clapped his hands. "C'mon, we have people to feed!"

Some twenty minutes later, a helicopter hovered noisily over their overnight campsite, lowering a flat palette piled with sacks and bundles. Clint took charge of the supplies and half a water tank, the largest container they had been able to find. "Right! Two cups of this mixture, add enough water to make it runny but not sloppy, and start cooking on those hot plates. Tony, you're in charge of keeping them warm, by the way. Everyone else, get ready for pancakes!"

"Pancakes?" Steve asked in astonishment.

"Sure. They can be cooked on any flat, hot surface, don't need any plates or cutlery to eat, and cook quick. It'll keep them all fed until morning."

"I don't get it," Bruce said. "I thought you couldn't cook."

Natasha nodded. "I remember the banana bread incident."

Clint snorted. "I never said I couldn't cook. I just can't cook for six. Anything under a couple of hundred serves, and I'm lost."

"But why?"

"Remember my military service? Spent the entire time on KP duty for insubordination. Never learnt a thing about being a soldier, but I sure did learn how to feed them."


End file.
